After being stuck in the house for so many nights with a cold, I was stir crazy. I was still sick and even had to cancel my writing workshop on Wednesday, so as not to infect the entire prison with my illness. However, I was not opposed to infecting my friends and occupants of a local bar with my cold. I would feel less guilty about that. Don’t ask me why.
So we met up at Slow Bar on SE Grand. A few months ago, their burger was on the front of Portland Monthly Magazine and was deemed the best burger in the city. I was kind of craving red meat, so it was a good choice.
It was smoky in there, which I didn’t pick up on at all, since my face was still all stuffed up. (By January, all bars in Oregon will be smoke-free, so if smoke really bothers you, then just wait until January!) But it was noticeable for my friends.
Their were two things on the menu that stood out to me. One. The Slowburger. Definitely my choice for the night. Two. Fries with stinky cheese. Yes, that is exactly what it says on the menu. Why would anyone in their right mind NOT order those?
So. I ordered the burger and the fries with stinky cheese. Dave and Rich also ordered the burger and regular fries. Ansley ordered the Southern Fry Plate, with hushpuppies and fried chicken.
The debate was playing on the tv by the bar. I could see the subtitles. I didn’t actually want to hear it. Because lately, when I’ve seen John McCain on tv, the scene from Much Ado About Nothing plays in my head, where the guy that is all tied up screams at Michael Keaton: “YOU ARE AN AAAAASSSSSSSSS!” It raises my blood pressure just thinking about it.
So anyway. My food came. The stinky cheese was perfect. It wasn’t just sprinkled on the fries, it was heaped and then melted so that a big pool of it landed on the bottom of the dish, perfect for scraping it up when the fries are gone. The burger was great – cooked medium rare, just like I like it. It had a saucy sauce on it, and piled high with onion rings. It was so stacked so high, that I was forced to eat the onion rings before I even attempted to put the rest of it in my mouth. After I consumed the onion rings, I attacked the burger. De. Li. Cious. Best burger in Portland? Eh. Not sure. Yakuza‘s burger with truffled potato crisps on it is still the tops, but Slow Bar’s burger is not far behind.
Try it. Then let me know how you like it. And don’t forget to mail in your ballot, no matter who you’re voting for. I just got mine yesterday and it’s going in the mail this week. Yay for Oregon’s vote by mail!
Photo from Portland Monthly Magazine.